STAR TREK Trailer

Granted it's a crappy camera phone, youtube version... but for those of you who absolutely can't wait, here you go.

Poster for Tarantino's Next Flick HELL RIDE

So this is the poster for the Tarantino produced flick HELL RIDE. It's  written and directed by some dude named Larry Bishop, who from the looks of his IMDB page, starred in a bunch of motorcycle movies in the Seventies. But what's really cool about this movie is the cast. Dennis Hopper, Vinnie Jones, Michael Fuckin' Madsen (heard he got his middle name change legally to that). With Tarantino's input, I can't see how this baby couldn't be one of the grooviest cinematic happenings of 2008. Click on the image for a larger view.

New X-FILES 2 Pic

New pics for sci-fi movie geeks are popping up today like tribbles on C-deck. Hehehehe... snort... hahahaha... snort... hehehehehe. Okay, I'll stop. Anyway, a new pic of Mulder and Scully from THE X-FILES 2 has hit the internets. The rumor is that the movie won't feature any aliens or mythology from the show. Um... yeah. That's just weird. Anyway... enjoy.

First Pic of the USS Enterprise From JJ Abram's STAR TREK

It's not much. Barely a glance of the saucer section under construction. It is cool, however. Only one more day till we get to see the new STAR TREK trailer in front of CLOVERFIELD. 

New Indy Pic (This Time with Cobwebs)

Pretty cool. Suitably cobwebby and temple-y. Shia is there again with Papa Jones. Vanity Fair's Jim Windolf speculates that there will be more Jones adventures after Indy IV, just not Indiana Jones adventures. That's right, Shia's character will continue the Jones family tradition of derring-do. The article is an addendum to his fantastic "Keys to the Kingdom" piece and can be found here. Enjoy the pic.

CLOVERFIELD Monster Seen

So Harry Knowles, over at the fantastic web site Ain't It Cool News, has seen CLOVERFIELD and in turn has seen the Cloverfield monster. And what does he say it looks like? He says, "It's not a fucking upright walking whale. It doesn't look like any iteration of GODZILLA that we've ever seen. It is enormous. And even though I've seen it... I am hard-pressed to come up with a comparative creation. You know that big fucking thing in THE MIST? It isn't that. Is the creature a biped? I'm not sure, I think it might've been a four-legged beastie... it has a tail, it has teeth and freaky eyes like that horse that died in ANIMAL HOUSE. It's kinda of a grayish-yellowish-off-white  looking thing." So it's not a whale and it's kind of yellow and off-white. Harry can really paint a mental picture. I guess we'll just have to keep wondering till the 18th of January. He does rave about the movie, however and his review has me amped to see this baby all the more. His review has some minor spoilers but it's an entertaining read. Find it HERE.

Pursuit of Happyness Review (and yes I know it's been out for like a year)

In my everlasting quest to keep you, dear readers, up to date with the latest movie critiques and most current film analysis, I bring you my "Pursuit of Happyness" review. I know it's on STARZ. Shut up. Don't judge. "Pursuit of Happyness" follows a down on his luck single father, played by Will Smith, as he tries and becomes a stock broker while taking care of his son. His unpaid internship and a series of unfortunate events causes him to lose everything, including his fleabag motel room. He and his son are put out on the street but he refuses to give up. There's no Plan B. He's determined to be a stock broker. As he goes from subway station bathrooms to various shelters for the night, he dotes on his son, cramming for his final internship exam as his son sleeps. This film is about one man's perseverance to make a better life for himself and his son. It's about not giving up, no matter what. It's about a parent's love for their child.

So in other words, "Pursuit of Happyness" is a sappy, string pulling, overly sentimental film that does everything save kill a puppy, to wring a tear out of you. And you know what? It works. Or at least it did on me. I got a text from a friend and when I replied that I had just watched this movie and loved it. His response was "Eh." Of course his response was that. He's a single guy who's well enmeshed in his bachelorhood. When we saw "House of 1000 Corpses" together in the theater, and Sheri Moon is walking up to the liqueur counter and the camera is trained on her chaps-laden ass, he blurted out, "Daddy likes." No shit. He's that guy. Beer and bimbos are the order of the day. To him responsibility is bagging it before you're tagging it.

I, on the other hand, lead a completely different life. I have a son who is three years old who I would do anything for. I do have a beautiful wife and a nice home and my son didn't drop his Captain America doll in the street (see the movie) but I can relate. I have responsibilities to my son, my wife, my family. I put them above all else. So I guess you could say that I'm this film's target demographic. I think all parents are. So what can I say? I dug it. Will Smith did a fantastic job, as usual, and his son in the movie, played by his son in real life, did a pretty good job as well. Can't say it was a bad way to spend a Sunday night. Goddamn, I'm getting soft.

New York Doll- The Documentary

I just watched this terrific documentary called "New York Doll" on the Sundance channel. And it was about, yep... you guessed it, the New York Dolls. But more specifically it's about their bass player, Killer Kane. Now I know the Dolls music, and a little about David Johanson, and a little about Johnny Thunders, but I knew nothing at all about Killer Kane. Turns out he lived the typical rock n' roll nightmare; substance abuse, failed relationships, suicide attempts. After he took a header out a three story window in an attempt to end it all, Killer Kane saw an ad in the TV Guide for the church of latter day saints. He dialed the number and found God. The film opens with an older, frail gentleman jumping on a bus to go to his job at the mormon temple's library. This man is Killer Kane, thirty years after the New York Dolls. He seems content with his life, happy that he's found his calling, but he has unresolved feelings about his past. Enter Morrisey who's putting together a music festival in London. His dream is to reunite the remaining living Dolls to headline. I really don't want to go into anymore detail,  it actually surprised me and I think it will work better the less you know. You should just see it. It's funny, sad, triumphiant, and the ultimately heart-breaking. Just set your Tivos. It's playing on the Sundance channel this month. It's a sad, unforgettable film.

The Road Warrior meets Ace of Spades

Now this just kicks ass. Works as a trailer for The Road Warrior or as a video for Motorhead's high octane song. Resident Evil: Extinction, you wish you were half as cool.

Resident Evil: Extinction

So on Saturday night I threw in the Resident Evil: Extinction DVD. And you know what? It wasn't that bad for a B-movie. I was raised on a steady diet of B-fair so I'm especially forgiving of any movie that is post apocalyptic, or features zombies, or has lots of pointless explosions and gunplay, or clunky dialogue, or features hot chicks kicking ass. And let me tell ya, RE: Extinction has all of those things in abundance. This movie is like a weird mash-up of Day of the Dead and The Road Warrior, though a lot dumber than either of those and not nearly as compelling. Though it's shot well with lots of moving cameras, long lenses, helicopter and crane shots it's edited like Lil Jon's "Throw It Up" video. The movie starts a few years after the second one and the world has gone to hell. The T-virus has turned most of the global population into zombies and the world into a desert. Who knew there was a link between the undead and global warming? Paging Al Gore (there's a zombie joke somewhere in there but I'm just too tired to find it). Anyway, Alice (the lovely Milla Jovovich) is wandering around the southwest United States in brown leather chaps  with her new Jedi Powers (don't ask) and hooks up with a convoy of survivors (I told you they were aping The Road Warrior) and the stripper chick from Heroes. She must save the survivors, overcome her Umbrella programing (she might be a robot??) and slice and dice some guy in a rubber suit. Will she? Guess.

As a side note, Russell Mulcahy, the director of Highlander directed this. I'm genuinely glad this guy is still working as Highlander was one of my seminal films growing up and I consider it a classic (and no I am not being facetious).

Can I recommend it? Well, if you have any inkling to see it, go ahead and see it. You probably won't be too disappointed. If you disliked the previous two or the trailer looked beyond tedious to you, skip it. This movie is definitely for a specific audience, and that ain't you, baby blue.

You almost have to admire Paul Anderson, the guy who wrote and produced all three Resident Evil films and directed the first one. He had the tenacity to keep churning these things out despite the critical drubbing and the low box office. Maybe he has a passion for the material like Peter Jackson had for the Lord of the Rings, so he continues to poop these films out every couple of years. It's kind of sad but kind of life affirming at the same time. And by the way, if you were expecting the series to be done, because this was the third film in a trilogy and all movies aspire to be trilogies these days, guess again. The ending is left wide open and nothing is resolved. Expect another one of these gems in a couple years. These movies must be a way for the mob to launder money. Oh well, bully for us. Poop on Mr. Anderson, I'll be watching.

Robots and Groovy Chicks Make Out

Oh you Sixties, you were such a funny decade.

Anyway, this video makes me happy... except at the end... which is kind of sad. What do the cops have against human/ robot love anyway? Fascists!!

Best. Internet. Video. Ever.

Second. Best. Internet. Video. Ever.